Last week someone at work sent me a link to a webpage explaining the dangers of velociraptors. According to the website, "velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men age 27-29." And this whole time I've thought the 3rd leading cause of death for that age group was scurvy (right behind "stupid bicycle tricks" and heart disease).
After calculating the risk of death by velociraptor, I got to thinking about what other under-publicized causes of death might be lurking in the shadows of ignorance. The first thing that came to my mind was rabies. Most people don't realize how serious rabies is, but you really have to be careful. For instance, you may think that rabies can be cured by a little shot, but that's only if you seek early treatment. Once the rabies virus has reached the brain and symptoms begin to appear, treatment is useless. You can count on one hand the number of documented cases of people surviving symptomatic rabies. This is serious business!
While I was thinking about this, it occured to me that there was a potention overlap in these two dangers. I can't find any research on the subject, but can you imagine the damage that could be spread if velociraptors can carry rabies? I've only ever heard of rabies infecting warm-blooded mammels, but if velociraptors have evolved to be able to open doors, what else are they capable of???
I suppose it's a moot point as to whether velociraptors can transmit rabies, because what are the chances of surviving a velociraptor attack in the first place? However, have you seen the amount of saliva those thing produce? Consider the dire situation you'd be in if you survived a velociraptor attack with only cuts and scrapes, only to find out later that the infected raptor spit got into one of the cuts and left you with a raging case of rabies? Talk about raining on your parade.
Please, dear readers, I don't write this to scare you. In fact, I hope, if nothing else, this post will empower you. Know your enemy (whether it be velociraptors, rabies, or both) and know how to combat them. If you fear you may be exposed to any of these threats in the future, please keep a tire iron handy and talk to your doctor about vaccination.
2 comments:
I always thought that car crashes were the statistic that a cause of death is always compared against to show how relatively uncommon it is. "Dude, I think I have scurvy." "Well, at least you're not driving a car." But I think we can both agree that someone's survival rating is effectively zero if they ever see something like this.
Without a doubt, this is the funniest possible visual representation of my worst fears. What's especially scary is that, not only is this velociraptor in a heightened state of aggression due to the rabies, he appears to be trying to navigate that vehicle from that passenger's side. I bet he isn't even a licensed driver!
Post a Comment