My New Hobby

Last night, Daniel and I had the pleasure of going to Outback. Toward the end of dinner, I realized I had a small speck of steak stuck between my back molars. Being in a public place, without even the meager privacy of a booth, there was only so much I could do to dislodge the steak. I dug around with my tongue, swished around some water....but I didn't have a toothpick and I wasn't about to unhinge my jaw and dig around with my finger. I tried not to think about it while we waited for our check, but once I know there is food stuck in my teeth, and once I've tried unsuccessfully for a couple of minutes to free it, it's hard to just drop the matter and stop thinking about it. Thankfully, we weren't there much longer so I was able to grab a toothpick on the way out and dig around on the way to the car. Once that little bit of food was out, I felt so relieved and triumphant. You'd think I'd slain a dragon.

Sitting in the car, basking in the victory of clean teeth, I realized this might be the feeling people chase when they're biting at their fingernails or picking their noses. You get this idea in your head that there's something there that shouldn't be and soon there is an obsessive need to get it out. When you finally do, it's like coming alive again with shorter nails and a cleaner nasal passage. Realizing what a positive feeling people are chasing when they engage in these undesirable habits, I decided I would harness this same obsessive need to sluff off bodily dross and use it for good. I decided I would start flossing.

I've never been a habitual flosser, and because I do it so infrequently, it hurts when I finally get around to it. Besides, once I've brushed, my mouth feels clean and fresh enough that flossing just seems unnecessary. But if you want to find out how untrue this is, eat a big steak, brush your teeth, then floss. You'll be amazed at how much brushing left behind.

It would be nice if I could adopt flossing simply for the inheirent benefits of the activity, but in the 25 years I've been responsible for taking care of my teeth, I've never been a regular flosser. Now, however, I'm coming at it from a new angle. It's like a quest deep into uncharted caves where I need to excavate as much as possible. Perhaps I'll even come across some rare artifact that I can show off to Daniel before tossing aside. I haven't told him yet about my new hobby, but i'm sure he's going to LOVE it.