I understand people's apprehension about holding babies. Knowing that you hold a new little life in your hands can be nerve wracking. This is especially true if you're a new parent or just aren't used to being around little ones. It's like going to a Catholic mass for the first time - you're not sure what to do and you don't want to look stupid. Even if you've done it before, you have to be able to match the baby's developmental stage with the proper holding technique. Emily has gone through several holding stages to get where she is today.

When Emily was a newborn, the general rules of caution applied. I had to make sure her limbs weren't crimped, her skin wasn't pinched, and most importantly that her head was supported. As she started to develop some neck strength, holding her became more casual, but her preferred position was still chest to chest with arms and legs tucked neatly under. There were many an afternoon when she assumed this position in a sling and happily slept while I cooked, did laundry, or watched tv. Once she had developed to a point where her sleeping didn't amount to near comatose and she struggled to tell day from night, she would sometimes fidget and squirm and cry when I held her. During these times, I would try many different methods of holding her, but often got the best results from having her perpendicular to my body with her head nestled into my side and her legs dangling about. This emulated the position she laid in while breastfeeding and I often thought that might have heightened its comfort. There were a couple of hard weeks when she and I spent most of the night in that position - her cradled in my arms, trying to learn what to do with her drooping eyes or her bursts of energy.

Emily is older now and her neck and legs are strong. She can even walk, which makes her more "toddler" than "infant". When I hold her, I hold her like a child, perched on my hip and supported by my forearm. She holds tight to the shirt on the back of my arm and I manage to accomplish quite a bit with her in tow. Just like we've moved past her gangly limbs and wobbly head, we've entered a time when sleepless nights are a distant memory. Her body has learned that, come 6:30, a fresh diaper and a bit of milk signals sleep. I can lay her down wide eyed and not hear another peep from her until morning.

When Emily got her first two teeth, they took me by surprise. I expected days or even weeks of fussiness with nights broken up by fits of crying. Instead, one day the teeth just appeared. They came later than expected, but with little fanfare. I expect more to arrive anytime and based on the last couple of days, the time may be sooner rather than later. Emily has had erratic naps and has woken up around 4am most nights this past week. It's mildly disruptive, but it only takes a minute of holding her up on my shoulder to put her to put her back to sleep. This evening, however, she woke up a half hour after we put her down. She went back to sleep, then woke up again an hour later. This second time, even after I laid her on my shoulder, she cried and fidgeted. I passed her off to Daniel while I retrieved the infant Tylenol, purchased months ago but never opened. I gave her the medicine and then sat in the glider to wait it out. She cried and squirmed and squirmed and cried. My arms got tired of trying to hold her still, so I reclined the glider and let her move around. She pushed with her feet and tried to roll around and ended up with her head in the crook of my arm and her legs laid across the arm of the chair. For the first time in months, I held that little girl like a baby, which turned out to be exactly what she needed. Whether it was the medicine or the position, she managed to fall back asleep and stayed that way till morning. We might have more nights like this ahead of us, but at least now I know what to expect and I know for certain that this growing little girl will always be my baby.